Ephesians 5:22-6:9
I have always been very appreciative of my in-laws habit of encouragement. Whether it be through notes, cards or conversations, they always make sure to tell me they appreciate me and that I’m doing a good job. They end up saying such nice things that it inspires me to want to be more like that. It ends up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy – the more good things they say about me, the more I want to live up to that. We tend to imitate what we find as important. Last week we talked about imitating God. And if we are imitating God, then joy is the by-product. Joy produces singing, thankfulness, and mutual submission.
Mutual submission is the key to healthy & God imitating relationships. As Phil. 2 says, we should always consider one another as better than ourselves. With this being the penultimate section in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, he is hitting his behavioral climax with the point of showing how this affects our relationships and how we are seen in them. It becomes visible in everyday day life. Either we are living in unity or are stuck in a crazy cycle.
Marital Submission
In marriage, it looks like this – submission of the wife for her to lift up her husband as a model of the church in how it relates to Jesus. There is no misogyny in Paul’s writing, but rather God ordained marriage as an institution with a submission structure to model the proper relationship of Christ to the church. Just as the body showcases God’s glory by being hands and feet to this world (good works), women bring glory to God & showcase their families by fulfilling her role, adorned in grace & good works. In this, she submits to her husband (NOT ALL MEN) as his role calls him to lead his family.
Men submit as well, but it looks different. Men are to give themselves up for their wives – a sacrificial role that builds & lifts up the wife. “The headship of man does mean lordship, yes, but one that is expressed most fully in liberating & exalting the subordinate one” (Ephesians Expositor’s Commentary, 150). The male authority exists for service, not prestige. When both members focus on their role and lift up the other one, it builds unity and shows how God has a better way for life.
When either or both shirks these duties, then begins the crazy cycle. “When a husband feels disconnected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband” (Love & Respect, 16). This spiral will continue until one or both choose to break it and act out of mutual submission and obedience to God.
Parental Submission
This extends throughout the family dynamic. Mutual submission looks different in a parental relationship, and uses stronger language (obey instead of respect), but the idea is the same – when both are focused on the other, than everyone wins. Obedience gives children the tools they need to grow and thrive in this world and parents are called to sacrifice to give that to them. This models well the spiritual growth plan between us and God – when we live in proper submission to Him, He pours in to us.
Societal Submission
It’s one thing to put effort into your family relationships, but I think in today’s world it can be a lot harder to do that willingly in the workplace. Nobody wants to submit to anyone there because no one feels any loyalty or safety. Yet regardless of our paycheck, promotions, or benefits, we are called to work at our jobs as though we were working for the Lord (Col 3:23-24). It seems impossible in our world now of no customer service and lost consumer faith – like the crazy spiral of a marriage without love or respect, bare minimum meets insult and the spiral just keeps spinning. We need to break the spiral! Employee or employer, we are to submit to each other and our individual roles for mutual success and fulfillment. A lower profit margin can go a long way in attendance and customer satisfaction. Yet, regardless of what we get, we are still to give all. The questions should never be “who gets to do what”, but “how do we lift up each other?”
Next Steps
Mutual submission requires us to stay in our lane – fulfill our roles and responsibilities – something that can be tough. I often would get in trouble as a server because I was always trying to do more than I should and ended up making mistakes. It’s when we stay in our lanes that we are best able to lift up each other and show off God’s more abundant life for us. This makes us more and more into the body of Christ – for all to see! Only when we choose mutual submission can we together find harmony & unity. Some options to practice that this week:
- Treat your spouse this wee with first date manners – like you just started dating. Be on your best behavior with them again and choose to build each other up.
- Send an encouragement note to your kids. Tell them they are good and you are proud of them.
- Challenge yourself to give more to job/volunteer role.
No matter the relationship, if we focus on lifting others, we will all be raised up. When others see that, God gets glory and His church will grow.
Comments are closed