Song of Songs 1:1-11
Pop culture lied to us! We were taught that “happily ever after” was a real thing. With unbelieveable romances that showed us all the drama was before the couple actually got together, we’ve been lied to. The wedding isn’t the end of the story, but the beginning of an incredible adventure! Instead, though, they told us that once you had that connection, it would last forever.
We are starting a series in Song of Songs to celebrate humanity’s desire for intimacy (both with each other and with God). The goal is to point out the reflection that earthly love radiates in our relationship with God—humanity’s ultimate purpose—which is being united with God and His wisdom. In this song of connection and unity, we not only learn about the never-ending dance of true love on earth but begin to understand one of the ways that we are in the image of God – as relational beings who understand God not only theologically (rationally) but also relationally. In this book, we don’t simply read about Him, we see Him, we experience Him. Like we did last summer, let’s lean into the wisdom literature given to us in the scriptures and seek together not just to learn, but to experience God in a new and powerful way through a book that largely gets skipped over due to its sensitive nature. As we seek the main idea of Song of Songs, I am confident that we will see God’s wisdom come through without having to worry about a “mature” rating.
Romance is a Chase
Have you noticed that the rise of divorce in America coincided with the rise in popularity of romantic movies starting in the early 1900s? There might be a correlation here, certainly not as the only reason, but creating these unrealistic expectations of marrige has changed how people understand it. They teach that once you experience that feeling of being in love, it should last for the rest of your life. Thus, if that feeling or experience wanes or changes over time, there must be something wrong. Scripture shows us something else. In this passage we see an intense desire in the woman to find and run away with her man, yet he is elusive. Look at v4 and then at v7. She wants his adventure, desires to settle into him in it. But there isn’t a final point where that connection stays, only seasons of waves. In fact, throughout the whole book, this idea of chase and catch is a repeating theme. She seeks and finds, but then do it again. This is normal and ok. Real romance, as shown here, is not about the feeling, but a constant choice through seasons of change. Feelings change and the chase will continue.
Due to an old job, I travelled back and forth to Seattle early on in my marriage, spending two weeks on the road and one at home for a long span of time. That created a physical distance and multiple challenges as we struggled to keep our connection strong. There is always another situation, or opportunity, or crisis. Cinderella’s wedding shouldn’t be the end, but the beginning of the adventure. Change will always be there. Jobs, children, tragedies, unexpected events, and more all come together to create seasons of change and different adventures that will lead in different directions. We must wade through the seasons of change and hold constant to the act and choice of AGAPE love. If we live for the emotions there is zero chance of an actual happily ever after. Lasting love requires commitment to the chase.
Commitment Protects Intimacy
It’s that commitment that creates security which allows for healthy bonding. It’s interesting that when looking into the Hebrew words used for love here, you can see that the word love here is actually the idea of physical connection or passion. Whether it’s the kisses in v2 or the bedroom suggestion in v4, it is clear that the focus here is on the physical. Physical intimacy is amazing and fills us with so many powerful feelings! These chemical sensations that alight in our bodies is possibly one of the most human things we can experience and that’s a good thing, in its right place. If that connection happens without commitment, love will be wrought with pain and brokenness. Contain it inside an adventure that chooses commitment before and despite all the changes of life.
Next Steps
True connection is one of the deepest and most intimate longings of humanity, physical or otherwise. It points us beyond this world to our God who longs for that same type of connection with us. Yet connection on earth is fleeting, so we must choose commitment.
- Seek connection with God through intimacy with Jesus.
- Accept that the journey doesn’t end this side of life – choose commitment over feelings. Luv is a choice!
- Commit to purity and keep physical intimacy inside God’s bounds of marriage.
Times change; people change. People feel love, and sometimes don’t feel love. Those are simply consequences of the seasons of life. Don’t fall in or out of love; choose it. Every day.
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