The Beauty of Attraction

Song of Songs 5:9-16

I want you to taste it with me. Close your eyes and focus on the initial chill from the ice cream that hits your tongue, followed by the creamy, smooth vanilla flavor. But just as your tongue registers that icy blast, a dark fire rages up from the still-oven hot chocolate cake. It melts against your tongue with buttery sweetness as it melts the ice cream flooding in above it. How can it get any better than this, you ask? Your sensations are alight with intense, sweet taste, but that’s when the secret hits you – salt crystals hidden in the mixture now hit your tongue and take you to a place you didn’t know was there, setting you up for the finale surprise – molten lava caramel. Is it possible for your taste buds to enjoy this any more? Is anyone here ready for dessert like I am? It is amazing how even just talking about it draws a person in and begins to light up those hunger sensors. Think about that for a minute – imagination can drive you to feel actual physical hunger pains! A look, a thought, an idea can be planted in one’s mind and in no time it drives actions, behaviors, and potentially life-long desires! It’s all about pulling you into something that’s bigger and better.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Attraction is an interesting thing. I’m not sure what is so appealing about dove eyes, but to each their own? One of the curious things about the whole book is how they describe each other: his legs are alabaster columns? How about 4:2 where it says your teeth are like sheep? Or in 4:4 – her neck is like the tower of David? The Hebrew imagery is very interesting here and this plays out throughout the whole book. One of the major themes in the book is the joy of physical attraction. Just like the never-ending game of seek and find they seem to be playing, there is clearly a repeating pattern of deep joy in how they see each other. The Hebrew imagery is curious, as it is not a visual descriptor like we might use today. I might tell my wife that her eyes are like the deep blue sea – which would make her mad, as she insists that her eyes are green and not blue, but at least you can get the reference. But referring to one’s teeth as sheep seems a bit far. How we describe each other today is not going to match how people described each other 50 or 100 years ago, so it’s no surprise that they used different descriptors 3000 years ago. So, as you read through the songs, some of those metaphors might make sense like your neck being an ivory tower and some of them, well you may just have to be there to understand it. The key, though, is that from the beginning of the book to the end, those descriptors and that joy in each other physically is there and continues on. Physical attraction massively important to a relationship. Why? Of course, except for it being a lot of fun?

One Taste is Never Enough

Let’s go back to the opening. Anyone hungry? Anyone in the mood for dessert? What makes attraction so powerful is that it always leads somewhere. It continually draws you in for more. Coke became a world-wide brand because of the sensation it gives with that pop and fizz. That turned into Santa, polar bears, famous athletes, and museums full of memorabilia. Physical attraction draws you in for more. It always leaves you wanting to go further. And this is where it reflects the spiritual. John 8 tells us the story of when Jesus saved the woman from being stoned for adultery. He treated her like he treated everyone else, by focusing on and solving her physical need (to be saved from her accusers) before addressing her spiritual need (go and sin no more). This story shows a us consistent pathway that Jesus modeled throughout His earthly ministry – He always dealt with the physical need first before addressing the spiritual need. He allowed His miracles and healings to be sources of attraction that drew people in for more. Because while they may start there, the more you see, the more you get to know Jesus, the deeper it goes and more powerful the relationship gets. His desire is for the spiritual relationship, but He uses the physical to draw us in deeper. People have always needed drawn in like this. It’s always been this way. Back in the 800s when Boniface broke into northern Europe as a missionary, he had to connect with the people there in a powerful way if they were going to listen to what he had to say. So he went into Germany, into Thor’s forest, took an axe and swung at the major shrine there, a giant oak tree. Story goes that as he swung, God took the tree down and the people there definitely attracted to what Boniface had to say. This is what attraction does and is shown in this passage – at the end of the passage in v16, the word “beloved”, which is what the passage starts with, transitions to “friend”. Those are different Hebrew words, starting with the idea of a physical lover in “beloved” to a trusted companion. Attraction leads deeper.

Next Steps

The beauty of attraction is that it draws you in. It is pulling you into something bigger and better, much like Christ does with us.

1. Enjoy physical attraction with your spouse – let it continue to draw you deeper in love with each other.
2. Seek past physical to deeper connection with others and with God.
3. Protect physical attraction and where it leads, don’t broadcast, but focus it on who it is designed for.

A good commercial can make you hungry; a good story can make you yearn. A beautiful face can build desire, and an incredible God draws you in with His grace. He made us this way, so don’t be afraid to go deep – just make sure its in a spiritually healthy way.